Hi everyone! My apologies for not updating in AGGGGGGES. I’ve gotten so many queries along the lines of ‘WHY HAVEN’T YOU UPDATED YET????’ so here the little boring bit. I had my exams as you know, and now they have finished it’s just been party after party after party- in the past 2 weeks I would have spent a total of 96 hours drunk so yeah….have been a bit whacked out of my mind with all the celebrating. Not just that, I’ve also been on a little week-long post-exam holiday with a few of my close chums, including the lovely RSH and where we’ve been staying has its wireless disabled; fuuuuuuunnnnnn…… But anyway, a few things have changed, both good and ok.
I’ll begin with the ok. Major and I have gotten to a stage where sex isn’t the cornerstone of our friendship and hence, can actually hang out as friends. I know what you’re probably thinking- ‘Oh Miss Magenta, you’ve said this all before and all you did was wander back to him, broken and hating yourself.’ Yes, I have said this before, but I didn’t bank on him wanting my presence for a little while longer. No, we found that solely being sexual with one another was detrimental to us both emotionally- I wanted something more serious as did he, just with somebody else. It stung like a fucker when we ended things altogether, but only for a couple of hours. To be honest, it felt like all the poison was coming out of my system and finally I could be free. Did I love him? Yes. I did, very much so. I still do, but now it’s more of a platonic kind of love, like I can talk to him about anything since having had him know me intimately. Plus truth be told, I’d be compelled to have his back no matter how much he hated me, not that he does. What I’ve found is that I don’t despise him for not loving me because it’s simple- we’re not meant to be together because we’re just too different and because I’ve accepted that, I can honestly say I am happy. We’re getting along better than we ever did and I no longer turn into the Jealous Cow from Horrible Town whenever I hear him talk about other women. We can hang out, talk, chat, watch movies, whatever…..if we end up screaming against one another’s sheets then so be it but we’re not using one another for orgasms and if they happen then great but if not, then great. So it’s not all bad, not bad at all.
Now onto the good news. When one door closes another one opens and that is so true now. While I revelled in my emancipation from loving Major and all the bullshit associated, he introduced me to a guy I know I’m going to have lots of fun with…but who I actually want to be serious with. His name’s RocknRolla, mainly because of his love of all the bands I adore and grew up with as a kid….including my favourite who no one seems to have heard of, let alone like. He’s a few months younger than me and hasn’t had his first kiss yet, nor a sexual experience of any kind. Somehow I find comfort in that, knowing that he can understand how I felt for so many years; that there’s no aphrodisiac like loneliness, as the Whitlams put so perfectly. So he’s in my life now, and while we are going to have a bash at doing all the normal couplely stuff i.e dating, we have of course talked about sex (I’m a nymphette, what do you expect?). What fills me with glee is that he’s actually willing to experiment with me- excellent considering I really, really, REALLY want something that’s a little left of centre. The only thing is he lives about an hour away which sucks but I feel that if I don’t at least try to make this work I’ll regret it because he is so lovely, funny, wonderful to talk to and just an absolute frickin sweetheart- a far cry from what I’ve experienced. It’s true y’know- something great does come along when you’re not looking for it, so keep your heart open for when it does.
Anyway, more sexy adventures coming right up! I know you’ve all been waiting for them and they’re coming.
xx MM
